Guys, I don’t even know where to start, its been a longggggg time. I hope you all have been good? Hmmm, I’m here to talk about my favourite topic ever, LOVE. I love love and if you’ve been following my blog, you should know that by now.
This morning while gisting with an older married colleague, somehow, we drifted into marriage talk. He flat out told me, he’s not a romantic man, that he’s a real African man who doesn’t believe in lovey-dovey, neither does he believe in the expression of love.
He said couples who do what we call, PDA are faking it. That it can’t be real. After all, he’s had friends who have all been super lovey, mushy with their wives but still cheat on them. He believes PDA is a sign that something is wrong with the relationship i.e. the husband is just doing a cover-up for his atrocities. What a super weird belief.
But then it got me thinking, is PDA necessary to show you love someone? Could a couple love each other but not display it? My colleague said our forefathers did not do PDA and their marriages were good. He believes as long as he handles his responsibilities as the man of the house, his wife should not complain.
This brings me to the reasons why people marry. Some marry because they feel that’s the next agenda in their life’s programme, some marry because they need a woman to tidy up the house, make it presentable, cook their meals and have sex with on a regular, some marry because they want kids from one person, others marry because they need someone to shoulder their life responsibilities, take care of their families and some others marry because they believe they cannot live without the other person. Some others marry because they’re tired of staying in their parents/guardian house.
I believe it is important that you marry someone whose values/purpose aligns with yours to avoid stories that touch. So that one person in being themselves, the other one doesn’t see that as an offence.
From the discussion I had with this colleague, it’s obvious to me he got married, because he feels that’s the next thing, not necessarily because of love (my opinion though). He has told me over and over again, that he will choose his kids before his wife. From our discussion, he said his wife complains that he doesn’t call her with a pet name, like sweetheart lol. It then occurred to me, she may be the romantic one who wants mushy mushy things, hahaha.
I remember I read an article where the writer said, as you get older, you’re no longer looking for love, you just want someone that you can live in with.
I clocked 32 on the 15th of November, but I’m a diehard mushy mushy lover,
closes eyes I want it all, the romantic, peaceful love. I want that when I see you, my heart does a backflip, hahaha don’t judge me abeg.
But I always say, God cannot make me like this, and then my marriage will just be like wood, there has to be fire, sparks and drama, hahaha. I can feel you judging me already.
Someone asked me recently why I’ve been single for a while and I couldn’t come up with an intelligent answer. It took me some days to think about it, and then I came to this conclusion, ok wait first, asides the fact that I have to hear God first about a guy/relationship I wouldn’t go into it, the conclusion is this, until I meet the one whose energy matches mine; I’ll remain single.
I and my sister were recently talking about a guy I would have married; a guy my parents prepared for me but I refused. He’s good oh, but the marriage will be passionless, we’ll just be housemates birthing children, I don’t want a marriage where all we talk about is kids and bills.
I want to grow with someone, laugh with him, joke with him, cry with him, I want to look forward to coming home because I know he’ll be there, I want someone that we can both be naked and not ashamed. I want someone that we both support each other’s passions, because honestly, marrying someone who doesn’t support you, will make life very difficult for you.
I wear my heart on my sleeves, I used to be ashamed of it because I was taken for granted, but not anymore, I’ll love like it’s my last opportunity, share my heart and life without shame until I can no longer do that. My partner will never doubt that he’s loved, so help me God. But till then, love and light guys.
But please answer my burning question, is PDA necessary to show you love someone? Could a couple love each other but not display it? Are you a romantic person or are you normal? I’m waiting for your thoughts in the comment section, you can also judge me there, hahahaha.