Hello everyone. I keep sounding like a broken record when I say, long time, lol. But it’s being a while. How have you guys been? How did you cope during the lockdown? How are you doing?
I have been doing great, apart from the occasional downtime. But I have been good.
Today I will like to talk about an issue that is very dear to my heart, if you have been following this blog, you should already know what it is.
I am very passionate about sexual purity, it breaks my heart when I look around me and it seems, sexual immorality is the order of the day in the world.
There’s something I started that I haven’t shared with you guys. I presently lead a group called Pure & Proud. This group was formed as a result of my passion for sexual purity.
The group is so named based on a verse from scripture,
2 Timothy 2:22 (NKJV), Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
And to be honest, this group kinda started accidentally, but when it came about, I knew it was God that orchestrated it all.
You guys know, I wrote my first book Virginity under Attack in 2018, but 2019 was the test year. Throughout 2019, I did nothing about the book or the message God gave me, instead I was ashamed to talk about Sexual Purity, but to the God who shows mercy, He didn’t let me sleep on it. In 2020, he used a friend of mine to reactivate that passion (this is the short version; the real story is very long).
So Pure & Proud officially started on the 22nd of February, 2020 and since then we’ve been able to reach out to secondary school students, hold meetings and we also have a Whatsapp group, and if you have same passion & interest, and want to be encouraged rightly, please join us.
In one of our weekly online meetings, we talked about the myths of Sexual Purity. So that will form the basis of today’s write up.
But before we can talk about the myths, what is sexual purity?
Sexual purity is beyond abstinence, it is about honouring God with the entirety of our lives. It comes from a place of love, that the question is no longer is this a sin or not but will this bring glory to God?
Sexual purity comes from a place of honour to God that you are concerned about how the things you do affect him. This will tell in the things you watch, the books you let yourself read, the associations you belong to, the friends you keep, the thoughts you think about, it’ll affect everything about your life.
That is why; I’m more concerned about the state of your heart because out of the proceeds of your heart, your actions will flow. The different gates into our spirit, Our Eye Gates, Our Ear Gates and our Mouth Gates must be securely watched so we don’t let pollutants into our spirit.
Purity is also a demonstration of love, both to God and your future partner. When you realise how sacred & spiritual the act of sex is, you won’t want to downplay its seriousness by engaging in immoral acts.
Sexual purity is a demonstration of our Love for God? You know that if I do what I am not supposed to do, it’ll hurt Him.
I believe this Love is what has kept me. Heaven has invested so much in me that hurting Him is not on my to-do list.
Now that we know what sexual purity is, we can now discuss the myths.
First off, what is a myth? A myth is a widely held but false belief or idea. So what are the widely believed false ideas about sexual purity?
That sexual purity is old fashioned. I know we live in an ever-changing world, and standards and expectations are now at an all-time low, but the standards of God remains sure and as a child of God His word is what we are to live by.
Sexual purity is not out-dated, overstated, culturally irrelevant, or any other catchy phrase. In a world where multiple partners and a flippant approach to purity are the norms, God’s plan for sexual purity is more relevant than ever. The world needs to see a different model. Sexual purity sets us apart from the world. Purity is God. Instead of buying cultural lies and trendy sexual mindsets, Christians need to show the world a “new” (again, facetious) way to look at sexual purity. A way designed by the Designer.
Let’s see what God says about immorality,
1 Corinthians 6:18 (NKJV), Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.
And we do not want to sin against our body, because our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and God cannot dwell together with sin.
The bible says in,
2 Timothy 2:19 (NKJV), Nevertheless the solid foundation of God stands, having this seal: “The Lord knows those who are His,” and, “Let everyone who names the name of Christ depart from iniquity.”
If you say, God is your father, then you mustn’t deceive yourself but live by His principles. His demands are not burdensome.
Matthew 11:30 (NKJV), For My yoke, is easy and my burden is light.”
Another myth, we can do any and everything but as long as there’s no sexual intercourse, its fine. Chastity should affect the heart, mind, and soul, not just certain body parts. If you’re thinking this way, you’re working by your flesh, striving to satisfy your flesh while also wanting to please God. There’s no one leg in sin & one leg out. With God, it’s all or nothing.
Matthew 6:24 (NKJV), “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve two masters.
Engaging in sexual acts, but stop at intercourse, means you do not trust God and His will for your life. You’re making the grace of redundant in your life; you don’t believe you’re capable of obeying Him. I’m here to tell you, it is very possible to be pure and remain pure.
Also, it doesn’t make sense to, be testing the waters, don’t give room for the enemy in your life. The bible says,
Flee every appearance of evil (1 Thessalonians 5:22).
The enemy will take advantage of every loophole that you create.
Our people (Yoruba) say a proverb, what you don’t want to eat, don’t smell it. If truly you do not want to sin against God, then don’t start what you cannot finish. Remember that Purity is not just about what you do, but about the state of your heart.
It is not about how far can you go, but about the state of your heart.
If you’re not a Virgin, you are not sexually pure. Guys, virginity is not the same thing as being sexually pure. I believe in Virginity, yes and my first book is on Virginity, but, they are very different things. You can be a virgin and not be sexually pure, (see the previous myth), and you may not be a virgin and be pure. You can also be a Virgin and be pure; the state of your hymen doesn’t determine your purity.
Virginity is an outpouring of purity. And purity is deeper than external actions. Christians are not “winning” if they arrive at their wedding day free from sex but saturated with lustful thoughts. Church, are we so misguided to think we are “winning” if we refrain from sex before marriage but can’t look at someone of the opposite sex without turning them into objects?
Purity is a matter of the heart and it begins with your heart and mind. If we understand this, Virginity will be a product/result from a pure heart. Virginity is not the end goal, but a clean heart.
If you say, you’re not pure because you are no longer a virgin, what do you say about this,
2 Corinthians 5:17 (NKJV), Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.
It doesn’t matter what your past is like, when you come to Christ He makes you clean by His blood.
Virgin or not, we have all been given the command to honour God with our lives.
If you’re a virgin strive to remain so, don’t say, it doesn’t matter as long as my heart is clean, in fact for you to think this way, your heart is not clean, lol.
Sexual purity is not about what you do or don’t do, it is not a list of dos and don’ts. It is about God and His work in our lives. We can’t make ourselves clean; only God has the power to do that. So we should lean on Him for help because the journey and the process of Sexual Purity is humanly not easy, but with the help of the Holy Spirit, we overcome.
I would like to stop here for today but don’t forget we are the workmanship of God, we were created for good works; created not to blend in with the world but to be a light in darkness.
So shine forth Baby, Shine On, the world is waiting for you.
And I am rooting for you.
Love & Light, Adejoke.
PS: Please if you would like to join Pure & Proud, indicate in the comment section. Also, please feel free to drop your reaction to this article and also share other myths, I love to hear from you.