A LETTER TO THE MATURE SINGLE LADY

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen, I hope you all are doing exceptionally well? I personally I’m not, but I’ll be fine. Today’s post is dedicated to Mature Single Ladies, when I say mature I mean from the age of thirty (30) and above.

Age 30 is the age, that people begin to pray unsolicited marriage prayers for you, your parents begin to wonder what the hell is wrong with you, most of your mates are married with some having at least two(2) children, age 30 is that age in this country where people treat your singleness as an abomination.

So if you are in this category and beyond, this letter is for you.

Dear Mature Single Lady, I understand the pressures of singleness.  I am presently 31, single and in no relationship so I understand how it feels. I know what it means when all the prayers your parents pray is for a wedding.

I understand what it means when your guardian tries to make things uncomfortable for you because they feel it’s because she’s comfortable that’s why she doesn’t want to get married.

I understand when it feels like you are the only single person around. All your juniors at home, school, church or workplace are all getting hooked and you begin to wonder if there’s actually something wrong with you or if what that prophetess said about you is true.

But please despite all the pressures, do not just marry for the sake of it. Let your waiting be worth it.

Dear Mature Single Lady, there’s obviously a reason you waited till this point, let it not be in vain. Don’t jump on any Tom, Dick or Harry who expresses interest in you. I know you feel time is running out, I know you are tired of staying with your parents/guardian but it makes no sense to wait all these years and then just marry the next penis in sight.

Marriage is too permanent, too serious a contract to enter it casually. Whether you like it or not, marriage will either affect you positively or negatively, so why not take time to choose that part of your history and make it good.

Dear Mature Single Lady, how can you a thirty-something-year-old lady marry a man who you don’t know, a man who doesn’t give a hoot about you? Simply because you feel you are getting old; a man who is not even financially prepared for a wedding or marriage, cos baba no get shishi; (a man who doesn’t have money).

The worst is when the lady pays for the wedding; you practically drag the young man to the altar so your name can finally be removed from the singles list. It’s not worth it. Don’t marry for the sake of marrying, wait for the Lord and He will grant you the desires of your heart.

I have realised from happenings around me that marriages whose weddings were paid for by the bride hardly last.

All the people rushing and pressuring you now into marriage will not live with you and your husband. At the end of the day, you alone will dance to the beat of the drums.

When you rush or make decisions under pressure, the probability of making the wrong one is very high. There’s no law that says unmarried people will go to hell, so why the rush?

Your eggs? God is the one who gives children, so calm down.

Dear Mature Single Lady, it makes no sense that after all your years of waiting; you end up marrying the wrong person. You will have no one but yourself to blame.

It is my opinion that you marry someone you are in sync with; someone who makes life easier for you; someone who waters your dreams and your visions. And the truth is, it is only God that gives the best partner. So wait for Him. Patiently.

Many people have rushed into marriage and had to rush out. Be Patient.

I am very sure that if we know the plans God has for us, we would just knock our own heads for the stupidity and naivety we display when it comes to choosing a life partner.

When you are inpatient, that’s when you start behaving foolishly, sleeping with men before marriage because you believe that with sex you can easily get a guy, or some get pregnant because they believe they can hook a man with pregnancy.

Or the funny one, giving a man all your money and taking care of him so that he will see you as the wife material that you are LMAO.

Dear Mature Single Lady, a man that wants you will go to the lengths of the earth to prove it. Remember Jacob, he worked for Rachel for fourteen years but the Bible says those years seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her.

Dear Mature Single Lady, it’s obvious that at this point of your life, many people will offer to hook you up with someone, maybe because they believe you need help in that area, and so you are matchedmaked.

Now you feel like, you have to marry that person because you don’t know when another penis will show up. Look here, even if you marry someone you are matchedmaked with, I believe it is important you like that person.

Personally, if I’m going to marry someone I’m matchedmaked with, two things must be pertinent. First, I must like that person, and secondly, he must have money. I’m just being honest.

A lot of men are very deliberate with who they spend the rest of their lives with, why not you? Why not us women? We too should be deliberate with choosing our partners. Don’t just pick from the available.

I believe we should live with intentionality. We shouldn’t do anything in this life without intention.

This issue is very dear to my heart; I’m tired of seeing godly women who think time is running out marry the next available idiot just so they can be called Mrs.

Just like a mother forgets the pain of labour when her baby comes forth, by the time you marry right, you will also forget the pain in waiting.

Love and Light,

Adejoke.

PS: This may be my last post before the blog goes down on the 14th which is Saturday. I love you all, thank you for being on this journey with me.

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