Lessons from #SGIT5

I don’t know how many of you watch the popular web series Skinny Girl in transit (#SGIT) by Ndani TV. I stumbled upon it last two years and since then, I’ve been hooked.

In fact, I used to share the series on my blog up till season 4 you can check that here. After season 4 I became disappointed with the series and I told myself I wasn’t going to watch again because I felt, what else do they want to do?

So when I saw the trailer for Season 5, I had a change of heart and decided to watch.

And boy, I dare say that #SGIT5 is the best season so far. Forgive me dear lovers of SGIT but in my opinion, season 4 was the worst and so unnecessary.

This Season 5 is something else, they settled down to write a good script. My best episodes are the ones with the counsellor. It opened my eyes to a lot of things.

Now let’s get down to it.

If you’ve been a follower of the series, I’m very sure that #Mide and #Tiwa is your favourite couple, we’ve all been rooting for them to get married; in fact, we’ve coined their wedding hashtag. Not until this season, we all thought they were the perfect couple.

But watching this season especially during their counselling sessions, I realised they are not fit to get married, at least not now.

It is puzzling to me that a couple who have been dating for the past two(2) years and want to get married have not sat down to communicate properly the type of home they want.

They’ve not asked themselves questions that will greatly impact their marriage.

It makes me wonder what they’ve been doing for two (2) years; oh I forgot kissing and having sex.

The counsellor asked them how many kids they want, they don’t know. They were asked how the finances of the home will be taken care of, they haven’t discussed that. Who will work and who wouldn’t they were clueless, yet they’ve fixed a wedding date and already making preparations for a mind-blowing out of this world wedding.

They have zero communication skills, poor conflict resolutions, ill-prepared for marriage since they do not know what the other person wants in the marriage, (for example, Mide the guy wants a wife who will stay at home and depend on him to cater for her and the family, while Tiwa the woman wants to work and be independent but they didn’t know because they didn’t ask) yet in sex and intimacy, and their absolute best, kissing, they have an A1!

I believe these are important issues that should have been sorted from the get-go.

I expressed my frustrations to my sister, why is the series showing an ill-prepared couple and she said they are only showing you what is prevalent in society today.

Maybe relationships these days are not deep, maybe couples hardly communicate, maybe all they do is to have sex because you have to find someone who is sexually compatible with you.

My late mentor Bimbo Odukoya wrote in her life-changing book, that the reason unmarried couples are sleeping together is that they are not communicating and asking questions.

No question is stupid or unnecessary when asking an intended.

If you are a woman that wants to work or be a career woman be sure that the man you want to spend the rest of your life with also wants a career wife. Never assume. Things are not as they seem.

For the avoidance of doubt, ask that guy/girl every damn question on your mind, clear your assumptions before walking down the aisle. This is to prevent unnecessary stories that touch the heart and brings tears to the eyes.

Do you know how they spend their money? How do they unwind? What are their thoughts on issues you are passionate about? How many kids do they want? Does that guy want a maid & a wife all in one? Will dear husband join in doing chores? Who will pay for what? Will there be a joint account or not? These are by no means all you should ask, questions are inexhaustible.

I would recommend reading How to Choose a Life Partner, 165 questions to ask by Bimbo Odukoya.

In answering questions from an intended, please be open and plain but speak with wisdom. There are questions for every level of the relationship.

Don’t withhold material information from an intended that can influence their decision. There’s a partner for everyone, if you told them something about you and they walk away, don’t use it against them or manipulate them to stay with you because of what you’ve told them.

A broken courtship is better than a broken marriage. It is in asking & answering questions, that you find out if you are compatible with someone or not.

Know who you want to walk down that aisle with. I know people say you can never truly know someone until you marry them, but there are basic things you should be clear about before signing the dotted lines.

If your heart is pure and you’ve committed that relationship to God’s hands, He will expose to you what you should know that is otherwise being hidden.

Protect your heart; for out of it are the issues of YOUR life.

Thank you for reading.

I pray that in this New Year, we shall walk with wisdom and make great choices.

Happy New Year.

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