Dear Lady, Be Independent. Start Paying your bills.

Hello everyone, long time no post. I am very sorry, I’ve not been faithful to this blog like I used to. I will blame it on work, the preparation for my book launch. Now that the launch is over, I can concentrate fully here. I hope I’m forgiven?

Anyway, today I have an article on a very pressing and socially hyped topic.

Let me just start with a story.

A few weeks ago, I & my sister went to the bank, I was wearing a T-shirt that had the words, “No husband privileges for boyfriend” when we were done with our transaction,at the park looking for a means of transport to take us to the market, a guy read the inscription on my shirt then he said, as long as you don’t ask me for money, then no problem.

And I told him, I have my own money, and I can take care of myself. And then to show him who the Boss is and that my talk is not cheap, I paid for his transport. Dude was surprised, he was so shocked; he even asked for my name and wanted to get to know me. Nonsense!

I’m grateful for the type of mother I have, she brought me up to be independent, she brought me up not to rely on anyone for help. I never was this confident and I wouldn’t be this confident if it weren’t for my mother.

And God knew the type of woman I am, so He gave me a natural born pride and stubbornness, that for me to ask anyone for money, that means I have gotten to a breaking point and that person must be super close to me.

I have been bringing up my sister in that same way too. Apart from talking to and with her, I usually take her out, spoil her in any way I can, and buy her things, so that one boy from nowhere will not think because he bought her pizza, he’s entitled to her body.

I follow Joro Olumofin on Instagram and I read all sorts of stories that are just stupid. A guy will write and say he took a girl out, spent 10k (ten thousand naira) and the lady still refused to sleep with him.

Like what nonsense sense of entitlement is that? But at times, I don’t blame these stupid boys; it’s the ladies I blame. Some ladies feel it’s an abomination if they spend their own money on themselves. They feel they are wasting it that way. You will hear the foolish girl saying, the money of a man should be spent on me.They even feel its wisdom, but what they don’t know is that such stupid talk is what fuels the entitlement mentality of fuck boys.

The truth is, if you must have dignity, self-respect and must keep your body, learn not to collect things from guys. It will give you leverage.

In fact studies and experience has shown that it is more difficult for a woman who is not independent or who doesn’t have her own money, to leave an abusive relationship/marriage.

Ladies you can’t eat your cake and have it. Show these men that you’re capable of taking care of yourself. You’ll be treated like the queen that you’re.

Ladies get a job. No matter how little the pay is, you’re earning something to take care of yourself. Do something. Get a Degree, learn a trade. Don’t just sit there waiting for a man to take care of you. Don’t depend on a man for survival. Bring something to the table. Dress well & look good(it’ll boost your confidence). Be contented for what you have and who you are. Don’t kill yourself trying to be like the Joneses.

Two weekends ago, I went to Mr Price to buy some clothes and while at the check-out counter, I noticed a man practically staring at me. He was there with his girlfriend (they weren’t wearing any rings). He was looking at me in shock. I bet he couldn’t process the fact that I was there carrying a bunch of clothes which I was paying for myself.

Ladies work for your own money and spend it on yourself. Don’t let any man play God over you. You are worth more than a piece of material to be acquired by the highest bidder. When you have your own money, no one can talk to you anyhow, dude knows that even if he leaves, you will thrive and survive well; with or without him. When he knows that, he will behave himself properly with you.

A man shouldn’t be your ATM simply because he said I love you. Relationship is a two-way thing. Don’t become a liability because you’re in a relationship.

And please I’m tired of this BS that man sing & cry on social media that ladies are after their money,or a lady can be bought with money. Question for you sir, how much do you have?It’s only broke guys that complain that ladies like money or are with them because of money.

My fellow Nigerian sister,Toke Makinwa couldn’t have said it any better, she said, you will never hear a guy with money complaining about women loving money, it’s always the Gorillas with coins. LMAO

And it’s only broke ladies that depend on men for survival.

Women we can do better, work, earn and take care of yourself with your own money.

If you take yourself out with your own money, you will not die. If you shop for yourself with your own money, you will not go to hell. If you take yourself, by yourself to the cinema with your own money, your leg will not break.

Stop being entitled to somebody else’s money. It is not yours. We honestly can do better.

If you go on a date with a guy, don’t order for food you cannot pay for. Don’t order for food, you’ve never eaten before (simply because it’s someone else’s money). Don’t be greedy.Greediness never looks good on anybody.

Pay your own transport, if he gives you transport fare, fine if he doesn’t fine. After the date, don’t buy food for friends/family with his money, if you must, make sure you pay for it.Even if you come from a hungry family, must you let the whole world know? Be considerate. It is because of annoying things like this, we’ve been insulted by men who have no right to.

I have some simple date rules; I don’t go on a date if I don’t have money. I must have transport fare and money for the date. It’s a must. If I don’t have money, I’ll keep stalling until I have money.

I bless God every day for the way He made me. I’m grateful for my mother for bringing me up to be an independent woman.

And yes, this babe, this one writing, the Great Lady herself is a Proud Independent Woman.

Have a great week you all and thank you for standing by my blog. Kindly share this article and please, I still have copies of my book for sale, holla if you want one.

2 thoughts on “Dear Lady, Be Independent. Start Paying your bills.

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