I know the title of this post looks somehow especially to religious minds, but if I had the opportunity of seeing God, I would ask him one question; just one question…

Lord why is it that married couples in need of children find it difficult to have them, yet teens and young adults who do not need them have them so easily. Not only do they have them easily, they throw them away because they do not value the gift they have been given.

This is a question that burns in my spirit, day in day out. It’s like a burden, an unanswered question that begs for answers. Honestly, whenever I see a childless couple, I feel so much for them. I know what is it to want and long for something so much that it tends to consume you, but it seems so out of your reach. Yet children who cannot even take care of themselves have done countless abortions or have these kids and throw them away.

Unfortunately, this habit of abandoning babies especially newborns is becoming so rampant; I wonder why. The Bible says can a mother forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? That means even the Bible finds it hard to grasp the fact that a mother can abandon her child. Why would a lady carry a child to full term, only for that same lady to kill or abandon the innocent child why?

There are so many childless couples, so many homes yearning for the cries of a child. Honestly, I want to ask God why he would give a child to a girl who will end up throwing that baby away when there are families who would die for that child. I know biology says that when a man’s sperm fertilises a woman’s egg, a child is formed; but still, I know that it’s God that gives children.

Every time I see another baby that was abandoned by its mother, my heart bleeds. It’s such a painful sight to behold. Was the mother’s heart on holiday when she threw her baby away? Why couldn’t she have taken the child to an orphanage or give the child up for adoption? Why have sex when you’re not ready to accept the responsibilities that come with it? Why? Is the mother able to sleep at night after she has abandoned her child? These are questions that burn in my mind; day in day out.

The unfortunate thing is that these babies are thrown just after delivery; naked and in the cold. To anyone who does that, I want you to know that every child is a gift and you should count yourself privileged to be given the responsibility of raising a child. Everyone born on planet earth is here for a purpose and God doesn’t make mistakes. If he knew you are not capable of raising a child, He wouldn’t give the child to you. If you know you cannot take care of that child, please birth it and take the child home to your parents, if your parents wouldn’t accept it, take the child to an orphanage or give the baby up for adoption.

I know society may disregard you or look down on you if you’re a single mother, but be sure of this one thing, Heaven looked down on you and saw that you’re capable of raising that child that’s why he gave you such a gift. I don’t care the circumstances of a child’s birth; every child born on planet earth is a gift and is here to fulfil a God-ordained purpose.

The truth is the decision to raise a child single-handedly is a tough choice; a choice you’ll suffer for, but for a while. But you don’t know the destiny of that child and moreover, tough times do not last. You will definitely get help from someone.

What do I think is the solution to this madness? Firstly, let’s stop having sex before marriage. I can bet 99% of abandoned babies are from single women. They fear the stigmatisation of the society; they fear the economic effect raising that child would have on them. So they look for the easy way out by throwing them away. The laws of God have always been for our own benefits, the God that said we shouldn’t have sex before marriage, knows why he said that. Children need the love and support of two loving parents, parents who are economically, spiritually, and physically ready to raise them. If you know you are not ready to be a parent, then ZIP UP.

Secondly, parents shouldn’t disown children who end up being pregnant out of wedlock. This is a painful pill to swallow; I know people will talk, the parents may also fear their family name been spoilt, but look at the bigger picture, that child is a blessing and a gift regardless of the circumstances of his/her birth. No one knows the destiny of that child.

Thirdly, the society needs to be more loving, accommodating and less judgmental of single women and the challenges they face. Let’s stop looking down on them; it takes a lot of courage to make the decision to be a single parent especially in a judgmental society like ours. Let’s support them in every way we can.

Fourthly, the government needs to step up social welfare programmes, support orphanages and homes, make the adoption procedure in Nigeria less cumbersome and less stressful.

Lastly, to every unwed mother, please do not throw your child away; it is evil, a sin and a criminal offence in the land. I would have you know that there are consequences to abandoning your child. Some women who have done it, have ended up childless, break in relationship with God or have troubled marriages. If you cannot care for that child, please take that child to a welfare home or an orphanage. I know there are welfare centres in almost every state in Nigeria especially Lagos that has a thriving office of home affairs.

To every woman who has ever abandoned a child, please ask God for forgiveness and mercy. What you did is a grave injustice to mankind, you may be living with guilt, but the mercy and the forgiveness of God are available for you. He will wash every guilt away.

Thank you all for reading. I would love to know your thoughts on this issue, what do you think can be done to stop this disturbing trend? Our future is at stake if we do not protect the right and the life of an innocent child who did not bring his/herself to this world.


  1. Good write up. This should get publicity because it is very key. Your write ups are always thought provoking.



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