I have heard funny things in the little time I have spent on planet earth, things like, I am possessed that’s why I refused to marry a particular guy and that I needed deliverance, there’s an evil spirit residing in my room that’s why I refused to marry that same particular guy. I thought I had heard everything until this morning when one of my senior colleagues told me, I wouldn’t get a man if I am too slim. He said I should reduce my exercise else no man would be attracted to me.
When the man said so, honestly I laughed because I found it ridiculous. But later as I was ruminating over it, I began to get pissed off, so because I’m single then every; and any activity I do must be tailored to attract or keep a man. He said we are in Africa, and African men are attracted to women who have some flesh on their skin. This is the kind of talk that has kept women, especially in our society in continual bondage. It’s freaking annoying.
Exercise is what I love, and I won’t stop whether or not I’m single or married. Ever since I resumed going to the gym, I have gotten a lot of negative and discouraging comments. My parents especially are so against the idea and I have been wondering why. My colleague’s comments this morning was a sudden light bulb.
My parents are so desperate to see/get me married and they may feel my exercising will make me less attractive to a man (as I would reduce). I have been wondering why they’ve been against it but today it suddenly hit me. I have said it HERE that the fact that one is slim doesn’t mean they’re alright health wise. I do not have to be fat to hit the gym.
My colleague’s theory doesn’t even hold water, there are countless slim women who are happily married and there are chubby ladies who are still single. Why do people stigmatise single ladies and make them feel they are incomplete or in need until there’s a man over them. It’s honestly very pathetic. People always have an opinion over you, offering you solutions to a nonexistent problem.
I love love, I’m a hopeless romantic so there’s no way I won’t get married. I will get married; because I want to; not because society says so. I believe, in lasting love and relationships, confidence is a deciding factor. You must love yourself enough to be able to love someone else. You must be confident and comfortable in your own skin.
Just tell me if I consciously watch my weight to become curvy just to attract a man, then I meet him and one day he says, “Baby you’re getting too fat I want you to reduce” then I will reduce again and become slim; because a man said so. That means I do not even have a direction for my life, my life is decided by every whim of a man; how pathetic. I don’t even think a correct guy would want to have anything to do with a woman who has no mind of her own.
It high time women begin to define their own course of life, society has for too long dictated how we should live our lives.
Dear future husband(in case you’re reading this) I’m not changing my body if you are attracted to it; fine, if you are not please keep it moving. There’s someone who will find it to die for.
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