“Change is the only constant in life.” This was the words of a wise Greek philosopher Heraclitus; a very short but profound quote. For a long time,I’ve heard these words, but I always doubted the truth in it.
I used to think that change depends on the person or thing. Especially for me, that it’s very difficult to change once I’m used to a particular thing, person or a particular way of doing things. Right from the time I have known myself, I have always known that I am rigid.
It may be difficult making a decision but when I eventually make it, it’s even more difficult changing that decision. My parents always complained that I was rigid, that I held onto things for too long. They were right, but I loved that part of me.
So imagine my surprise when I started noticing some changes in me. Let me share the various aspects in which I have changed.
Academics:I have always been a bookworm. Particularly in the University, I had goals I wanted to achieve academically. After my B.sc, I will travel out for my masters, write professional exams, and have my own professional firm etc, but maybe because plans didn’t just work out; especially in the aspect of the M.sc abroad. I was so passionate about my qualifications and the rest, so it’s a shock to me that right now, I can’t even stand reading any academic book again. I’m almost done with my M.sc (not in the abroad oh) and I can’t seem to finish my project. I can’t understand how someone who was once passionate about academics can’t even finish a programmenow. My mum doesn’t understand it, neither do I.
Wedding: Long before now, I have always dreamt of having a large wedding party when I’m getting married. You know the whole works, 15 bridesmaids, 15 flower girls, multiple page boys; in fact, the whole train could be up to 50; with each one having different roles. I wanted a large crowd at my wedding, having up to a thousand guests, wearing a ball gown which will require a bunch of girls to carry and which will sweep the whole floor, lol. Right now I can’t even stand a rowdy wedding; I may just choke. I want a small intimate wedding, consisting of family and a handful of friends.Read here for MY DREAM WEDDING.
Hair: For time immemorial, I have been a lover and a doer of braids; I always braided my hair, month in month out; and they must be very long; most often than not, the length reaching my bum. I disliked weaves because of the wahala of combing every morning (lol) and the ones I liked are usually expensive. That’s just an excuse sha, I just did not like weaves and my sister could not understand it, lol. (She would be surprised when she reads this). Right now, I’m seriously tired of braids; I can’t even wait to get rid of the one presently on my head. I want to change my look and do something different. Even the length of the hair is irritating me sef, it’s too long. Funny how the very thing one once loved is the same thing I cannot stand. See HERE and HERE to read my once hot love for braids.
CAREER/HOBBIES: So I have always wanted to be a career woman (maybe I still do) but not as strongly as before. I wanted to be the CEO of a multinational. Anyway, right now I want to have my own business, have a striving successful cake shop, write books, have a successful blog, inspire and impact others.
Where did it all change? I honestly do now know. My mother has always been a baker that has been her side business. I really didn’t have a flair for it per se; I just saw it as an unnecessary evil. But right now, baking is part of my passion; I come alive whenever I bake. It’s a blessing seeing that I could create beautiful unbelievable things.
To the aspect of writing, I never knew I could write; let alone have a blog. Writing came by chance. I started this blog because I was bored; that’s why the first name of the blog was memoirsofanabujaboredgirl. Check out my first post HERE to see when the blog was still abujaboredgirl. When I started the blog, in fact, I wasn’t writing much, until much later. I think it started coming to my subconscious that I was good at it when I was getting positive feedback from people. Even with the positive feedbacks I was getting, I was still not confident…that I could write.
Back to career, I don’t think I want to work for anyone; I want to run my own business. I want to be my own boss. The truth is I have always been afraid of entrepreneurship, so it’s not something I had initially planned to do.
With all these changes, I have always wondered if I had gotten married earlier that means I would have been married without knowing the full version of myself. Marriage must be tough cos you’re with someone for life and you guys are both evolving. What will happen when you begin to change or he/she evolves?
Anyway, I have outlined these changes that have taken place in my life and it’s interesting and at the same time puzzling. Even as much as I have changed in certain areas of life, there are still some things that haven’t changed, for example, my love for God; I am still a passionate lover of Christ now even more (thank God), my love for music (cannot die), my passion to impact people and be a blessing through God-given resources, my love for my family and my love for love (I am still a die-hard romantic).
I believe, so many things are responsible for the changes in our lives. Maturity, exposure, circumstances of life, people, the decisions that we make etc. I believe that as we grow, we would change, we would evolve, and we will discover ourselves more. Change is a part of life, it must happen; you can’t fight it except of course if you’re changing to something bad.
Irrespective of the changes we undergo, the very core of who we are should not change. We can change material possessions, we can change our look (for the better), we can change our friends but we shouldn’t change our Faith (in God), our moral values, our passion and our purpose; except, of course, we were on the wrong path.
Life happens and sometimes we begin to change without even knowing it. Some things we couldn’t do, we see ourselves doing them, things we couldn’t say, we discover how comfortable it is to be talking about them, places we couldn’t go, we get comfortable going there. But we should be careful and watchful that the change we are undergoing is for the better and not for worse.
Circumstances can change us; some for the better and others for bad, but I would encourage us not to let unpleasant situations make us terrible people. I know you’ve heard the phrase, “Good Girl gone Bad”, but it will be great if that phrase does not describe who you become.
Let me end with the words of a Great man; “Our past may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become”.
I would love to know the areas in which you’ve changed or evolved. It would be a plus, if you can include what led to the change.
Thank you for reading.