A couple of weeks back I was gisting with some senior colleagues (men), somehow the gist got to the issue of men and cheating. One of them was asking me why I didn’t agree to a relationship with one of his friends; and I said they guy is not sincere, that he has a lot of ladies who he’s also asking out.

He was like if that’s the reason I turned the guy’s request down, then I am not serious. That a man is free to have a lot of options (in these case girlfriends) that it’s my job or the woman’s job to show the guy that she’s the one for him.

I couldn’t believe such rubbish, so a man is free to have lots of girlfriends, and then if any lady is interested in him, she should prove to him that she’s the best out of all other girls.

So a lady should be the one to prove to a man that he should pick her; out of the lots of women around him. It’s so unfortunate that this type of thinking exists. I’m not surprised though, after all, we live in a society that sees marriage as a form of validation, where if a lady you aren’t married people begin to think there’s something wrong with you, or you’re someone that should not be respected.

No wonder these days, cooking, cleaning and washing a guy’s clothes is normal, you know the woman has to do all these so the man can say she’s wife material. With this type of reasoning, it’s obvious that; in the thinking of this kind of men, marrying you would be doing you a huge favour.

These men kept on saying rubbish, one even said it’s normal for a man to cheat, that you can’t stop him from cheating; it’s left for the woman in his life to understand that and do all she can to show the man she’s worthy of being respected. Imagine; I was really appalled. There’s nothing I didn’t say just to convince them what they were saying was gibberish, but for where?

I was in a blog’s comment section yesterday and a lady happily wrote that she knows her boyfriend was sleeping with someone else, but she doesn’t mind as she is the main chick, and the other lady was the side chic who was being fooled. It was really shocking that a lady is happy with the fact that someone she hopes to marry is cheating; after all, she’s the main chick.

Sometimes I really don’t blame guys for issues like this, my reason; we the women are the ones letting them eat their cake and have it. If a woman can be happy to be the main chick, then when they get married and he cheats, there would be no need for tears.

These types of mentality and behaviours; begging a guy to marry you or doing all you can to show a man that you’re the one for him, just reeks of a terrible self-esteem.

This is my belief; it’s a man duty to prove to you that he’s the one for you and not the other way round. Even the bible says, He that findeth a wife.

Ladies abeg, let’s place value on ourselves, love and respect yourself to know that, no one is doing you a favour by being with you. You’re worthy of love, and respect and you should be treated with the utmost care.


Wishing you all a fabulous and a memorable week; this week is also the beginning of a new month. BTW, November is my birth month (hehe hehe).

Reading your thoughts gladdens my heart; so please drop one. Subscribe to receive new post by email.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime.com


  1. Can you imagine talk oh.. This is why abuse against women can not end when it seems like the women sef don't even have any value ier worth for themselves.


  2. hmmmmm men n women wahala ah! my advice to d ladies is dt dey cherish demselves more else u lose ur value to a man.All most men do nw is jst explore ladies in n out.Its quite unfortunate some ladies end up wit d wrong guys.Ladies allow d guy love u more its better dt way,never shw too much love to a man dan he has for u.N finally…..Do not give him ur body until he puts a ring on it! PEACE OUT.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s