The article you are about to read was written by Pastor Dunamis Okunowo of the Shouts of Grace Center, Ibadan Oyo State Nigeria. He and his wife are the facilitators of the Kisses and Huggs Club. Find out more HERE
I want to write about three things that will never work in a relationship or marriage.
Life is all about following God’s pattern and principles. In God’s word, there are answers to every question. There are some things that will never work. They just won’t work because they are never designed to work and because they are at loggerheads with the instructions of God.
There are many of them, but I just want to identify three of them quickly this morning.
1. Keeping secrets from your loved one
Being secretive in a relationship or marriage is like sowing a wrong seed into a relationship or marriage. One day, the secrets will be found out, for there is nothing hidden that will not be exposed. When the secret is found, trust is broken and a foundation for suspicion and assumptions is laid. It is only a matter of time before the fragile foundation gives way.
Be open. Talk about your weaknesses. Whoever really loves you will have compassion for you when you talk, rather than be disdained or filled with contempt.
Marriage is about being “naked and not ashamed”. It is a place where oneness is at its maximum.
2. Inability to forgive
The second thing is inability to forgive out rightly or easily.
A good marriage is a union of two forgivers. It is a coming together of two imperfect people who are quick to overlook unnecessary issues and trivial matters.
It is a coming together of two people who have decided not to habour bitterness or animosity of any nature.
It is a coming together of two people who have an understanding of the spiritual implication of an unforgiving spirit.
It is made up of two people who not only love their bodies but also love their souls.
It is made up of two people who are committed to loving each other no matter what and who are committed to protecting each other.
3. Being carnally minded
When you are carnally minded, you can actually truncate God’s plan.
A person can be a believer and yet very carnal.
The major problem here is that carnal people cannot please God.
A man that is not pleasing God is of all men most miserable. He is on his own.

Let’s take a look at the scripture.

Romans 8:6-8 (KJV), “For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.  Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.  So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God”.
The carnally minded man actually sets himself against God. He won’t last.
As a child of God, you’ve got to make up your mind to be spiritually minded.

What is a carnal mind?
A carnal mind reasons, make conclusions and acts without regards to God’s word or the leading of the Holy Spirit.
Amplified Bible explains this better.
Romans 8:6 (AMP), “Now the mind of the flesh [which is sense and reason without the Holy Spirit] is death [death that comprises all the miseries arising from sin, both here and hereafter]. But the mind of the [Holy] Spirit is life and [soul] peace [both now and forever]”.
Why is it death?
Verse 7 explains.
Romans 8:7 (AMP), “[That is] because the mind of the flesh [with its carnal thoughts and purposes] is hostile to God, for it does not submit itself to God’s Law; indeed it cannot”.
May your destiny not be hostile to God! I mean, that would just be suicidal!
Bringing this to relationship and marriage, anything you do that is not consistent with God’s word, anything you do to satisfy your impulses at the expense of God’s word will bring death to that relationship or marriage.
Romans 8:8 (AMP), “So then those who are living the life of the flesh [catering to the appetites and impulses of their carnal nature] cannot please or satisfy God, or be acceptable to Him”.
So, a jeru trap-riddled(pre-marital sex) relationship between two people who are not yet married is programmed for self destruct.
A marriage of two people who will not forgive, who will habour strife continually and are not spiritually minded is at the precipice of destruction.
Make up your mind today to be spiritually minded!
I pray for you this morning, may you not be trapped in the deceit of this present world. I pray that your heart will be sensitive to things and promptings of the Holy Spirit in your relationships and marriage.
God will honour you and help you where you need His help most in Jesus name! Be blessed!
I am spiritually minded
Lord, make me sensitive to your voice
Romans 8:7 (MSG)  
Focusing on the self is the opposite of focusing on God. Anyone completely absorbed in self ignores God, ends up thinking more about self than God. That person ignores who God is and what he is doing.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s