*This article focuses more on the “Husbands & Wives-IN-WAITING*
On the issue of Marriage proposals, quite a number of Wives-in-Waiting (WIW) put so much pressure on their Husbands-in-Waiting (HIW) as regards the type of ring they want and the type of proposals they will like, forgetting that their Union is beyond the price of the Ring or the flamboyance of the proposal. Often times, these Men fall into the temptation of borrowing money or spending all their life savings on an Expensive Ring, the Proposal Venue and all the Theatrics that come with the Surprise-Filled Proposal, just to get a YES from their “Potential Wife-in-waiting”.
On the other hand, some Husbands-in-waiting woo the Wives-in-waiting with the theatrics of a Flamboyant / Romantic Proposal, whereby the ladies find themselves getting carried away by the sweet proposal words, the karats in the diamond ring and the idea of being engaged, just because it is a moment they have waited for since the beginning of their relationship. However, my belief is that, in as much as the Husband-in-waiting proposes with a ring and sweet words, the main reason He should ask a Woman to marry Him, should actually be the fact that He needs a Help-Meet to Support / Help Him fulfil His God-given purpose. Thus, I advice the Man to carefully write down His VISION before proposing to a Woman and present same to her, ask her to read it thoroughly to see if she can follow Him as well as support His Vision despite his current status, because at the end of the day, if she cannot submit to you or help your vision, she is not your Help-Meet.
I also advice the Wives-in-waiting to ask questions when in a relationship. Find out where this Holy Ghost Filled, Tongue Talking, Tall and Handsome Brother is going to in life. Just because He goes to church or has a nice accent doesn’t mean He knows his life’s assignment, so please ASK. Know the real Him before you say YES to the Proposal. Don’t fuss about the style / type of ring you want, because that can always be Upgraded. The main thing you should do is to find out what Your Purpose & His Purpose is, Pray about it and ask God for direction, because you are created to be a Helper and if His Vision is not your concern, then you will only be a liability to that man.
*HUSBANDS-IN-WAITING*: Before you ask a Lady to marry you, don’t just propose to her with a Diamond Ring, propose to her with your VISION; that way you will know if she is a HELPER or just a Cheer-Leader. Her passion towards your Vision is more important than her reaction to the Ring. Selah!
*WIVES-IN-WAITING*: When a Man asks for your hand in marriage, find out his VISION before saying Yes to the ring, that way you know if you are his HELP-MEET. A man needs a Helper for his life’s assignment, so before you wear the ring, know what He has been called to do, so that you will understand what you are to help him with. Make sure you are led by the Spirit and not the bling. Selah!
In all our ways, let us acknowledge God and He will direct our paths (Proverbs 3:6).
“Marriage is about Purpose, and when you know your Purpose, you know who to take along with you on the journey”.
Written By Feeyi Okupe.