This is a continuation of the earlier article on this issue of premarital sex. SEE HERE
3. Having sex outside marriage often lead to a lack of trust. This comes into play especially when both parties get married. The truth is everyone knows sleeping with someone who isn’t married to you is wrong, so when you do that no matter the reason, whether or not it was the other party that made you do it, that person will never trust you. This is so because they’ll think you gave it up so easily, when you guys eventually get married and you’re not in the same physical location, the other party will be thinking, you can easily sleep with someone else since you did so with him/her outside the bonds of marriage.
Some time back I was talking with a married male colleague of mine and has a long distance marriage, someone I asked him how there’s still trust in their marriage, and he told me categorically that he’s wife cannot cheat on him, because even when they were dating, she didn’t as much as let him hold her hand. He told me if they had slept together before marriage, he won’t be able to trust her.
4. Soul ties. When you have sex with someone, you soul becomes entwined with the soul of the person and the many other people, the person has had sex with. Sexual contact involves a level of intimacy not experienced in any other human relationship. Due to this entwined nature of sex, God destined that sex should only be between a married couple (man and wife). Gen 2:24 says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh”. This is also reiterated in Matt 19:5, Mark 10:7-8. Paul elaborates on that idea in 1 Cor 6:15-17, which says “Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? Certainly not! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For the two,” He says, “shall become one flesh.” But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him.
Soul ties are like baggage, the transfer of spirits from one person to another. There are people facing different problems in life they don’t know it’s as a result of the multiple sexual partners they’ve had. My people, there’s nothing like ‘casual’ sex, ‘friends with benefits’, sex is more spiritual than it is physical. An analogy is instructive here. If we take a sticky note and attach it to a piece of paper, it will adhere. If we remove it, it will leave behind a small amount of residue; the longer it remains, the more residue is left. If we take that note and stick it to several places repeatedly, it will leave residue everywhere we stick it, and it will eventually lose its ability to adhere to anything. This is much like what happens to us when we engage in “casual” sex. Each time we leave a sexual relationship, we leave a part of ourselves behind. The longer the relationship has gone on, the more we leave behind, and the more we lose of ourselves. As we go from partner to partner, we continue to lose a tiny bit of ourselves each time, and eventually, we may lose our ability to form a lasting sexual relationship at all. The sexual relationship is so strong and so intimate that we cannot enter into it casually, no matter how easy it might seem.
Ever wondered why some ladies keep going back to guys who are wrong for them? It’s because their souls have already being tied to the guy.
5. Premarital sex has a way of blinding your eyes to important aspects of a relationship. For example, a couple in a relationship may be incompatible, but because the sex is good, they go ahead and get married. Another example, a person may have terrible anger issues, maybe violent, a liar but because the sexual aspects of the relationship are on point they go ahead in marrying that person. Then when they get married, and they now see that life is now more than sex, they start regretting their actions.
6. Premarital sex ages a person. Have you ever noticed how people who have had sex outside of marriage begin to look different? They begin to look old and worn. Like a toy that has been used over and over again begins to lose its physical appeal, so does a person who continually has sex outside of marriage. Many try to mask this “used up” look by adding more make-up or wearing more revealing clothes to take the attention off their face and put it on their body. Many girls who are sexually active and taking birth control gain up to 25 lbs.
7. Engaging in premarital sex can lead into contracting one of the many venereal diseases rampant today, as well as losing your fertility. Not just AIDS, but other common disfiguring diseases like herpes that have no cure. Some venereal diseases have no symptoms and many couples discover many years later that they became infertile because of these diseases. Infertility experts estimate that 80% of today’s infertility is due to venereal diseases contracted before they married. The best and only method that guarantees 100% against AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases is to wait for marriage to have sex and maintain fidelity in your marriage.
There are a lot of dangers to contracting a sexually transmitted disease, your health can be adversely affected, social stigma, your fertility may be put at risk, as a matter of fact, it has been reported that as many as one-quarter of all infertility cases are caused by a previous STD.
8. Premarital pregnancies: Far too often we focus on the “recreation” aspect of sex without recognising that there is another aspect—procreation. Sex within marriage is pleasurable, and God designed it that way. God wants men and women to enjoy sexual activity within the confines of marriage. Song of Solomon and several other Bible passages (such as Proverbs 5:19) clearly describe the pleasure of sex. However, the couple must understand that God’s intent for sex includes producing children. Thus, for a couple to engage in sex before marriage is doubly wrong—they are enjoying pleasures not intended for them, and they are taking a chance of creating a human life outside of the family structure God intended for every child.
If the Bible’s message on sex before marriage were obeyed, there would be far fewer abortions, far fewer unwed mothers and unwanted pregnancies, and far fewer children growing up without both parents in their lives. It is wrong to risk having children who will never have their father’s love, protection and care. It beats me when an unmarried woman is having an abortion or the guy insisting the lady should have an abortion. I usually ask myself so you can have sex, but not ready for the consequences??? SMH
9. Imagine breaking up with a guy, and not being able to look him in the eye again or not being able to forgive yourself because you had slept with him before. The truth is when a relationship breaks most especially when sex was involved, it’s the lady that feels it’s more cos its like OMG, that guy used and dumped me. God made our bodies precious and it’s to be treasured. Matt 7:6 says, “Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearl before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces. If you date and you don’t have sex, you can forget about that relationship when you stop dating. But if you have sex with those you date and then break up, the nature of sexual involvement creates strong, often unpleasant memories for your whole life. Every relationship you break up where you had intimate relations is like a mini-divorce. The psychological difficulties of these mini-divorces does damage to your character. Later, when you are married and go to bed with your beloved spouse, these unpleasant memories will accompany you.
10. When you don’t engage in premarital sex there’s no basis for comparison when you get married. If you’ve had sex before, and you eventually get married you begin to compare your spouse with previous sexual partners, this often leads to disappointment, ultimately the disappointed party will be more than likely to cheat. Moreover, the comparison will tend to make the other party very insecure; also having prior experience of sex can lead to unreasonable expectations.
11. Bad reputation, been the subject of rumours and gossips. The reality is men talk, people talk and for ladies, it’s much more hurting when the tales of sex escapades (sexual escapade) gets out. Matt 7:6 says, “Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearl before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces.
12. Sex outside marriage only cheapens a relationship, you stand up from the bed feeling very worthless, you’ve lost your dignity, self-respect(and its true because you’ve just lost a part of yourself), so most often times ladies would stay in an abusive/wrong relationship without letting the guy go because they’ve slept with him.
To be continued