I can write or should I say if I’m awoken in my sleep to talk about the pressures of marriage I have so much to say. I never knew or understood this earlier until when I moved back home or should I say when I crossed my mid-twenties. I’m presently 27 going 28 in November and currently living with my parents.
In Nigeria, God help you as a twenty-something-year-old lady you aren’t married or in a “serious visible” relationship and worse still you’re living with your parents, trust me when I say you’re finished. The side talks, the pressures, matchmaking you will receive from everyone can drive you crazy.
Unfortunately, the advent of prophets in Nigeria has only made matters worse. They’ll tell you all sorts. Imagine a prophetess told my parents the reason I was refusing to marry a particular guy was because I was possessed, not only was I possessed but the demon is residing in my room and I needed to be delivered, LMAO. Unfortunately for me, my mother believed her and kept disturbing me to go for deliverance.
My parents are arranging a husband for me and I refused vehemently on strong terms that I wasn’t interested and my parents cannot understand it. As far as they’re concerned he’s the perfect husband for their daughter because, in their words, he’s calm, gentle, has a job, a house, a car and better still we’re both of the same tribe and religion, Hehehehe. My people abeg no let any prophet Bambu Zu you oh, most of them are just agents of confusion. You’re a child of God and He can speak to you directly.
Pressures come in different forms and phases, from asking (wondering) whether you’ve being cursed spiritually, whether your standards are too high. People will tell you, there’s no perfect man out there oh, lower your standards, your time is going. I even heard a funnier one from a much younger cousin, she said men are now marrying ladies between the ages of 19-21, imagine. She said my supposed “problems” are spiritual so I should be praying very hard, lol.
My dear people (especially ladies) don’t give in to any pressure. Most of the people pressuring you to get married have very terrible marriages, I strongly believe a happily married couple/person will not pressurise anyone to get married because they know the institution is no joke and if you’re not prepared for it, don’t better enter.
I personally believe the desperation to get married is the MAJOR reason why domestic violence and abuse is on the rise, and it won’t stop until ladies know their worth is far more than being a MRS.
I believe a person should only get married when he/she has discovered the purpose God brought them into the earth. If you do not know your calling/purpose, marrying the wrong person is inevitable. I also believe people should get married when they’re ready and when they’ve met the person with whom they’re compatible with. Moreover marrying out of the wrong reasons/pressure will only lead to failure because when you are under pressure you’re rather hasty and you can say yes to anything as long as the pressure is over.
As I dey so, I’m in a no rush to get married, neither am I in a rush to even be in a relationship. When I feel I’ve accomplished something tangible in my life then I know I can now get married. I won’t marry out of pressure because marriage is a LIFETIME CONTRACT.
My people kindly comment on any experience you’ve had concerning this topic.